| On The Lighter Side |
| Murphy's Law As It Applies To Firefighters |
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A fireball has the right of way.
When you have an area under control but forget to tell the fire.
If you are short of everything except fire, things are going as per normal.
Never forget that your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.
If your efforts are going really great, you're at the wrong fire.
Things that must work together, usually aren't shipped together.
Portable radio batteries will fail at the precise moment you need help.
Anything you do will be wrong, including doing nothing.
You will always have more fire than you do water.
With a little organization, chaos can be assured.
The distance from a piece of equipment you need, is directly proportional to the urgency in which you need it.
Your biggest save will have no witnesses.
Your biggest mistake will have hundreds of witnesses.
The person who contributed least to the fire fighting effort, will be the only one interviewed on the six o-clock news.
No matter how bad things get, it will look much worse on TV.
Reinforcements will arrive, as soon as the fire is contained.
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| You Know You're A Firefighter If... |
You can tell the type of fire by the smell of the smoke 10 miles away.
You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.
You have ever spent 10 minutes trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
You always wear red suspenders.
You have ever slept in a hosebed.
You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket.
You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
You have ever had "yoda ears".
You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight.
You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
Your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you.
"Climbing The Corporate Ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.
Your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader.
You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.
You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree.
All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter.
You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!
If you carry more pagers than money in your wallet.
If a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.
The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was an your pager.
If you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.
If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off.
If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher.
If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust.
When you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.
All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.
If you extricated someone by cutting the car doors off on one side then realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side.
If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
When you have ever made a Jacuzzi out of the bed of a pickup truck... Well, it was a hot day!
When you take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.
When you REALY have to go to the bathroom, AFTER you get all your gear on.
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